NEWS
TERRIBLE DRAMA OF DESPAIR

A tragedy has just caused consternation and desolation in a house located in Paris, on a street we will not name more clearly, so as not to sadden the entire city.
The two victims, the husband and wife, were found yesterday morning, lying lifeless, by a friend who had entered without knocking.
On the table in the bathroom, the desperate victims had left a letter in which they made a full confession. The husband wrote:
"Tired of leading a lavish and easy life, when it would be possible to experience poverty; tired of frequenting places where one enjoys themselves, of eating well, drinking deeply, and seeing the most cheerful future before us, we prefer to take our own lives. Our friends will excuse us for carrying out our plan in the strictest privacy." "There will be no need to autopsy our corpses, the method of suicide being one of the simplest and most affordable. We also hope that it will be given the widest possible publicity for the greater good of Humanity.
"As I didn't have a revolver to blow out our brains, I decided to burn our lower extremities in the fireplace.
"I first burned my wife's feet with all the gentleness I could muster, then, when I had confirmed her death, I in turn placed my two feet, coated in paraffin, in the fireplace.
Apart from a vile smell of roasted pork, I am not at all bothered, but I expect any minute to..."
We believe the unfortunate man expired at that precise moment. Then, with a burst of energy, he put the letter in an envelope addressed to the commissioner. The Prefecture assumes that the incident will not have any serious consequences, but it is doubtful whether it will be possible to postpone the burial of the desperate victims.